Hypocrisy on Facebook

It never occurred to me that I might one day find myself praying to God about Facebook.  But that day has come.  Actually it arrived last year some time, in the midst of the political campaigns for the presidency of the U.S.A.  I’ve long been a registered Republican, and had strongly disapproved of Barack Obama when he was elected the first time.  (In fact, I wrote several blogs here about him back then.)  As he was running for re-election, I didn’t see a suitable opponent.  I had initially thought Hillary Clinton would take his place, but then it became clear that the only real choice would be between Obama and Mitt Romney.

 

Of course there was no shortage of positive or negative rhetoric about either of the candidates running for President.  But I found myself with reservations about Mitt Romney.  No, it wasn’t his Mormon faith.  I actually have a lot of respect for many of the ideals and values espoused (and held to) by the Mormons.  Rather it was a sense that Mitt Romney might not be as sincere in his caring for all of the people.  Much as I hate to admit it, some of his remarks about people who are poor, handicapped, or even unemployed seemed strangely reminiscent of now-deceased billionaire Leona Helmsley who was quoted as having once said that, “Only the little people pay taxes.”

 

So I turned to Facebook to try and find worthwhile understanding other than my own.  From time to time, I would pose a question, usually about Mitt Romney.  Several times I tried to start a dialogue about the issues.  Does Mitt Romney really have a plan to bring our country’s deficit spending under control?  Do we really believe that reducing tax rates will result in increased tax revenue with which to pay for our government’s spending?  But time and time again, questions like this on Facebook would result in the exact same outcome.  The Obama-bashers would in outrage ask some stupid question like, “Would you like four more years of Obama destroying our country?”  Never once did they answer my question, mind you.  They would just try to “disarm” me with a condemning question --- resting on the assumption that I was an Obama supporter (which I am not).

 

It’s of course no secret that I’m a born-again Christian.  I spend my life with great concentration on the teachings of Jesus Christ.  I work hard to reconcile my sinful nature and selfish desires to the godly standards of the Old and New Testament.  And as you might imagine, a great percentage of my friends and even my acquaintances are also Christians.  At least that’s what they would have you believe.  Frankly, the bullying and hateful disrespect that some of them displayed (on Facebook) had me wondering if they could really be following the same Christ that I do. 

 

At times I would try to point out the hypocrisy that seemed apparent to me.  I would try to re-engage them back on the original topic at hand.  After all, I really did want to discuss the issues.  But I had no interest in demonizing either candidate.  Ultimately, I failed in those endeavors.  My so-called Christian “friends” prevailed in their desire to hold on to their hatred and disrespect, demonizing Obama and trying to bully me for not joining them.  Eventually, I began to “unfriend” them on Facebook.  That didn’t stop some of them, so I had to go back and actually block them from even seeing my wall or communicating with me.  This was quite sad for me.  I’ve known some of them for nearly 20 years.  I also had thought of them as godly men.  (I don’t any more.)

 

There is plenty of Scripture in the Bible that tells Christians how we are to regard our government and its leaders.  Romans 13:1-7 says that, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. …. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the (governmental) authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.”

 

Did you catch that last part?  If you owe respect … then give respect.  If you owe honor … then give honor.  They are no less important than paying the taxes that you owe.  This passage makes it abundantly clear that we are to obey the government God places over us. We are to obey the government in everything—paying taxes, obeying rules and laws, and showing respect. If we do not, we are ultimately showing disrespect towards God, for He is the One who placed that government over us.

 

When the apostle Paul wrote this letter to the Romans, he was under the authority of the Roman government during the reign of Nero, who is notorious for – among other things – being quite possibly the most evil of all the Roman emperors. Nevertheless Paul still recognized the Roman government’s rule over him. Do we dare do any less today? 

 

Recently I had to “unfriend” an old classmate from high school.  I had reconnected with her not long ago, and thought it would be fun to catch up.  That didn’t turn out to be the case.  While professing to be a Christ follower, and quoting Scripture regularly, she also refers to our (now re-elected) President Obama as “the antichrist” (sic).  When I tried to point out the error of her thinking, she reacted the same way those other Facebook friends had reacted last fall.  I got a severe tongue lashing for refusing to join or support her demonizing of Obama.  I cautiously tried to discuss the issue with her, but was quickly attacked by her adult children as well.  Finally I retreated, apologized for offending her, encouraged her to review her position with her pastor, and, of course, “unfriended” and blocked her. 

 

Sadly, my self-proclaimed Christian Facebook friends don’t appear to be familiar with the context of what Paul said to the Romans.  Even if Obama were the “antichrist,” the command for Christians would not change.  Obama may have been elected by the American people, but he got his position and his authority from God.  Therefore, it is necessary to submit to him not only because of the law, but also, as Romans 13 tells us, because of conscience.  You see, we honor God when we give respect to those in authority over us – whether that is at work, at church, in government or anywhere else. 

 

One of the things we mistakenly conclude is that if we don’t agree with someone then we don’t have to submit to them.  We may think that they “don’t deserve” our respect (as if anyone could).  I’ve heard people say that the politician whom they think is vile “hasn’t earned” our respect.  But who has earned our respect?  After all, each of us is so terribly flawed and bent toward sin and evil that we required the salvation of a Messiah.  It’s good to remember that when looking at those in authority over us (and others) whom we don’t agree with. 

You see, I don’t have to agree with you, support your policies, or even like you in order to submit to you, show respect for you, obey you, and even love you.  Love is patient and kind, it always forgives, it never gives up, it is never harsh, and all those other things that 1 Corinthians 13 teaches us. 

So, here’s the question:  Have you loved your politician (insert name here) today?  I started out saying that I never imagined I'd be praying to God about Facebook.  But as I've encountered this conflict and nasty business on Facebook, I've found myself bewildered by so-called Christians who were behaving so heinously that I didn't know how to react.  So I've found myself praying, asking God to show me how to respond to someone.  Fortunately, He's been willing to guide me.  In some cases, I've been able to re-focus the conversation in a more righteous direction.  In other cases, I've been led to "shake the dust off my feet" and move on. 

I have to say that in those cases, it gives me no pleasure to "unfriend" someone on Facebook.  For I realize that they are lost in their hypocrisy and have a reckoning day coming that will surely be ugly.  Because I love them, I don't want to see that in their future.  I wonder if anyone ever sees my hypocrisy so clearly.  And I wonder if they do, would they love me enough to try to call me out on it.

Have Not Love

I occasionally get asked (by churches) to help a pastor or other ministry leader in distress. Not long ago, one of the inquiries concerned conflict within the church. It seems that most of the people in the church found it difficult to relate to one certain leader.

I asked about this leader and was told of his strength and virtue. He had an impressive theology degree from so-and-so seminary; he is a certified genius - very brilliant. When I asked someone to tell me his strengths, I was told that he is a great thinker, very wise, and always able to see a perspective that most people miss. These of course are great qualities to have in anyone, regardless of the extent of their education or other credentials.

As I interviewed the key players in this scenario, I was impressed with the fact that they were, on the whole, wonderful people. But as I interviewed the one everyone had trouble with (let's call him "Dean"), I noticed something different. You see, with everyone else that I talked to, I felt loved. The love for Christ and for other people just seemed to ooze out of them. But when I talked to Dean - not so much.

Now I'm not the brightest bulb in the string, and I certainly don't have impressive religious credentials. But I do have a Bible and the Holy Spirit to guide me. So I began to pray about the situation. I asked, "God, will you show me what you see in these circumstances?" When He answered that prayer, I was amazed. God took me directly to 1 Corinthians 13, where the Apostle Paul explains about love.

If I speak in the tongues of man (several languages) ... but have not love, I am only (making noise). If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor ... but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, ... it is not proud. It is not rude ... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; ... where there is knowledge, it will pass away. - 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

So there it was. People had described our highly credentialed genius in terms that the Apostle Paul described. Dean was faithful, knowledgeable, a good speaker. He lived a modest lifestyle and didn't seem to be greedy. To be sure, Dean was a "good man" by most every measure known to mankind. (I'm sure his parents must be quite proud of him and his accomplishments in life.)

But here's the thing, Dean had not love. So his degrees? Worthless. His genius? Ineffective at best. His knowledge? Failing. Simply put, all of the qualities that our friend here possessed were virtually cancelled in his relationships because he had not love.

You see, that was no evidence that Dean's heart had never been broken (that we know of) for the Lord. On the other hand, there was strong evidence that he was, for example, prideful as a result of his impressive credentials. He also was short-tempered, was known to "keep score" (keep record of wrongs) and excelled at taking care of himself.

But Dean wasn't known for making sacrifices for others, making apologies when he was wrong, or being forgiving when others were wrong. When asked if they loved Dean - most people confessed that they found it challenging to love him. Despite his worldly attributes, he didn't seem very lovable. When asked if they thought Dean loved them - virtually every single person said no. Some expressed doubt that he could love anyone else. One even reasoned that Dean "might be too smart" to love others!

So here's the thing. Churches often pick their leaders based on credentials like education or years of experience. But it seems that, among other things, God has told us through the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 that those worldly credentials aren't going to be worth much if they're not accompanied by love.

For you see, if I had all these things ... but had not love, I would only be - less than God wants me to be.

Real Love

The Bible is one of those challenging tombs - where we'll decide that it's good and right. We'll declare that we're going to follow it. There'll be things that we underline and say "Amen!" to. We totally agree with them. They epitomize righteousness.

And then we stumble across another Scripture that will simply force us into a reconciliation process. Scripture never contradicts itself. Ironically, Scripture never allows true followers of God to contradict themselves either! Instead, Scripture will force us to reconcile our beliefs and our behaviors, one by one.

1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 3 are two such pieces of Scripture. These two chapters are replete with definitions of love. Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13. It's the stuff of greeting cards and wedding vows and wall plaques. "Love is patient, love is kind ... it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres."

Did you catch that? It "keeps no record of wrongs." How many of us can say we do that? Christianity is a religion of the heart. But bitterness against someone who has wronged you is an evil cancer within you. It will eventually destroy you. If we're honest, most of us have some bitter cancers that still need to be dealt with.

I've blogged about forgiveness in the past. It is a continuing decision and action. Sometimes it requires the power of the Holy Spirit in order to accomplish it. I can think I've totally forgiven someone - and then unforgiveness will come creeping back into my mind (and heart) when I least expect it. And there is the cancer of bitterness, resentment, anger, frustration and all those other negative feelings - right back in my lap again!

1 John 3 tells us that those who are truly in Christ Jesus (and I'm paraphrasing here) - who truly do belong to the Lord, will love one another not with words or feelings - but with actions and in truth. Jesus taught that whoever hates another person is a murderer at heart (Matthew 5:21-22). In other words, my contempt for someone who has wronged me or of whom I disapprove overwhelms whatever love I may think I have for them. Simply put, it is not possible to love someone and hold them in contempt at the same time. One will cancel out the other.

Too often we'll live in denial, telling yourself that we love someone. At the same time we'll tell ourselves that we're Christ-followers. But God's Word is the truth. And the truth says that if we don't have loving actions toward others, the love of Christ simply isn't in us.

Like I said, Scripture demands that we reconcile our opposing beliefs and behaviors.

Valentine's Day

Its Valentine's Day; the day when we celebrate love. An interesting celebration it is too. Candy, flowers, cards. I've noticed that the flowers seem to get cheaper as they go into the tents in the Kroger parking lot ... but the cards get pricier as they stack up on fancy kiosks --- in the same store. What's up with that?

Love is an interesting proposition. Society often talks about being in love. We see the magazines on the news stands heralding some new celebrity and how happy they are with their latest love. It occurs to me that happiness isn't the point of love. The Bible has a lot to say about love. It speaks of God's love for us --- incredible. It speaks of our love for God --- usually falling short. It speaks of our love for each other --- probably misunderstood. So what are we celebrating here?

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. ... When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. - 1 Corinthians 13 (NLV)

So there it is, the real definition of love. Will you get or give a Valentine's Day card that reflects that truth? Or will you get a card that speaks and reasons and thinks as a child? Does your focus of love include patient and kind? Not jealous or rude? Does it demand its own way? Many of us grew up having life experiences from people who loved us, but we didn't experience it. Few among us have escaped the lament of, "I don't want to grow become my parents."

Why don't we? Mostly because we saw an imperfect love. We saw a love that was tainted with sin and other aspects of humanity. But then we go out in our own lives and start building the same dimensions of love for those we care about and are in relationship with. If I had been the Apostle Paul and had written 1 Corinthians 13, I probably would have added something like, "Love is not perfect. It forgives everything. Love doesn't sweat the small stuff."

And don't get me started about sex. Somehow Valentine's Day cards have become racy. I've seen some in the card racks that looked nearly obscene. I'm sure if I went to different stores, I probably could find obscene Valentine's Day cards. When did we equate sex with love? It is a dimension of love. It is not the dimension of love. The presence of sex doesn't signify the presence of love. By contrast, the absence of sex doesn't indicate the absence of love.

To be honest, I think we've been deceived by sexuality. When most of us think of "good sex," we think of what we got out of it. In other words, we focus on the selfish dimensions of the experience. Look at 1 Corinthians 13, and ask yourself what it promises for you? There is nothing selfish about it. Nowhere does it say love is rewarding, meets all your needs, makes you feel significant, makes you feel safe. Quite the contrary, the truth about love is what you can give, not what you can get. Now, re-think your sexuality in that filter, and see what you can give.

Sexuality has become perhaps the biggest joke of mankind. Whatever God meant for good we have certainly perverted to a sense that one might question what value can be left. In today’s' news, a woman in German auctioned off the opportunity to have sex with her in an on-line auction site. Six (6) men won bids to have sex with her. She willingly had sex with all six them, knowing each of them only by their on-line ID. (Read about it at http://www.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/idUSL1355570120080213).

Do you suppose this was God's plan for sex? Do you suppose there could be any love here whatsoever? Making the travesty even worse, now she is pregnant and can't imagine which one of the men is the father. I'm guessing her future son or daughter may have some questions about what love is. Too bad mom and dad won't have any answers.

This Valentine's Day, let us reflect on 1 Corinthians 13. Let us consider what love really is. And let us resolve to change our thinking and our ways concerning love. If we ever get that right, then it truly will be a happy Valentine's Day!