Hypocrisy on Facebook

It never occurred to me that I might one day find myself praying to God about Facebook.  But that day has come.  Actually it arrived last year some time, in the midst of the political campaigns for the presidency of the U.S.A.  I’ve long been a registered Republican, and had strongly disapproved of Barack Obama when he was elected the first time.  (In fact, I wrote several blogs here about him back then.)  As he was running for re-election, I didn’t see a suitable opponent.  I had initially thought Hillary Clinton would take his place, but then it became clear that the only real choice would be between Obama and Mitt Romney.

 

Of course there was no shortage of positive or negative rhetoric about either of the candidates running for President.  But I found myself with reservations about Mitt Romney.  No, it wasn’t his Mormon faith.  I actually have a lot of respect for many of the ideals and values espoused (and held to) by the Mormons.  Rather it was a sense that Mitt Romney might not be as sincere in his caring for all of the people.  Much as I hate to admit it, some of his remarks about people who are poor, handicapped, or even unemployed seemed strangely reminiscent of now-deceased billionaire Leona Helmsley who was quoted as having once said that, “Only the little people pay taxes.”

 

So I turned to Facebook to try and find worthwhile understanding other than my own.  From time to time, I would pose a question, usually about Mitt Romney.  Several times I tried to start a dialogue about the issues.  Does Mitt Romney really have a plan to bring our country’s deficit spending under control?  Do we really believe that reducing tax rates will result in increased tax revenue with which to pay for our government’s spending?  But time and time again, questions like this on Facebook would result in the exact same outcome.  The Obama-bashers would in outrage ask some stupid question like, “Would you like four more years of Obama destroying our country?”  Never once did they answer my question, mind you.  They would just try to “disarm” me with a condemning question --- resting on the assumption that I was an Obama supporter (which I am not).

 

It’s of course no secret that I’m a born-again Christian.  I spend my life with great concentration on the teachings of Jesus Christ.  I work hard to reconcile my sinful nature and selfish desires to the godly standards of the Old and New Testament.  And as you might imagine, a great percentage of my friends and even my acquaintances are also Christians.  At least that’s what they would have you believe.  Frankly, the bullying and hateful disrespect that some of them displayed (on Facebook) had me wondering if they could really be following the same Christ that I do. 

 

At times I would try to point out the hypocrisy that seemed apparent to me.  I would try to re-engage them back on the original topic at hand.  After all, I really did want to discuss the issues.  But I had no interest in demonizing either candidate.  Ultimately, I failed in those endeavors.  My so-called Christian “friends” prevailed in their desire to hold on to their hatred and disrespect, demonizing Obama and trying to bully me for not joining them.  Eventually, I began to “unfriend” them on Facebook.  That didn’t stop some of them, so I had to go back and actually block them from even seeing my wall or communicating with me.  This was quite sad for me.  I’ve known some of them for nearly 20 years.  I also had thought of them as godly men.  (I don’t any more.)

 

There is plenty of Scripture in the Bible that tells Christians how we are to regard our government and its leaders.  Romans 13:1-7 says that, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. …. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the (governmental) authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.”

 

Did you catch that last part?  If you owe respect … then give respect.  If you owe honor … then give honor.  They are no less important than paying the taxes that you owe.  This passage makes it abundantly clear that we are to obey the government God places over us. We are to obey the government in everything—paying taxes, obeying rules and laws, and showing respect. If we do not, we are ultimately showing disrespect towards God, for He is the One who placed that government over us.

 

When the apostle Paul wrote this letter to the Romans, he was under the authority of the Roman government during the reign of Nero, who is notorious for – among other things – being quite possibly the most evil of all the Roman emperors. Nevertheless Paul still recognized the Roman government’s rule over him. Do we dare do any less today? 

 

Recently I had to “unfriend” an old classmate from high school.  I had reconnected with her not long ago, and thought it would be fun to catch up.  That didn’t turn out to be the case.  While professing to be a Christ follower, and quoting Scripture regularly, she also refers to our (now re-elected) President Obama as “the antichrist” (sic).  When I tried to point out the error of her thinking, she reacted the same way those other Facebook friends had reacted last fall.  I got a severe tongue lashing for refusing to join or support her demonizing of Obama.  I cautiously tried to discuss the issue with her, but was quickly attacked by her adult children as well.  Finally I retreated, apologized for offending her, encouraged her to review her position with her pastor, and, of course, “unfriended” and blocked her. 

 

Sadly, my self-proclaimed Christian Facebook friends don’t appear to be familiar with the context of what Paul said to the Romans.  Even if Obama were the “antichrist,” the command for Christians would not change.  Obama may have been elected by the American people, but he got his position and his authority from God.  Therefore, it is necessary to submit to him not only because of the law, but also, as Romans 13 tells us, because of conscience.  You see, we honor God when we give respect to those in authority over us – whether that is at work, at church, in government or anywhere else. 

 

One of the things we mistakenly conclude is that if we don’t agree with someone then we don’t have to submit to them.  We may think that they “don’t deserve” our respect (as if anyone could).  I’ve heard people say that the politician whom they think is vile “hasn’t earned” our respect.  But who has earned our respect?  After all, each of us is so terribly flawed and bent toward sin and evil that we required the salvation of a Messiah.  It’s good to remember that when looking at those in authority over us (and others) whom we don’t agree with. 

You see, I don’t have to agree with you, support your policies, or even like you in order to submit to you, show respect for you, obey you, and even love you.  Love is patient and kind, it always forgives, it never gives up, it is never harsh, and all those other things that 1 Corinthians 13 teaches us. 

So, here’s the question:  Have you loved your politician (insert name here) today?  I started out saying that I never imagined I'd be praying to God about Facebook.  But as I've encountered this conflict and nasty business on Facebook, I've found myself bewildered by so-called Christians who were behaving so heinously that I didn't know how to react.  So I've found myself praying, asking God to show me how to respond to someone.  Fortunately, He's been willing to guide me.  In some cases, I've been able to re-focus the conversation in a more righteous direction.  In other cases, I've been led to "shake the dust off my feet" and move on. 

I have to say that in those cases, it gives me no pleasure to "unfriend" someone on Facebook.  For I realize that they are lost in their hypocrisy and have a reckoning day coming that will surely be ugly.  Because I love them, I don't want to see that in their future.  I wonder if anyone ever sees my hypocrisy so clearly.  And I wonder if they do, would they love me enough to try to call me out on it.

Social Media Reunions

I have to be honest and start by saying that I really didn't even notice it at first. It sort of crept up on me. One day I'm going along with normal experiences and normal thoughts. Another day I "wake up" and realize that something else has been happening. There's been another dimension to my experience that I wasn't even aware of!

I'm talking about those reunions we are getting to make with the use of social media networks. LinkedIn and Facebook are two that I frequent. I have more than 800 and 460 links and friends on them respectively. Many of those are reconnections. They're people I used to know. Maybe we went to grade school together. Maybe we worked together. Honestly, some of them I haven't seen since we were children. But I find them - or they find me - on the social media network.

It starts a little awkwardly. You have to do some exchanges to make sure it's who you think it is. Sometimes you have to convince them that it's really you. I reconnected, for example, with a woman I truly thought was dead! It was quite a shock to find that she wasn't, and to start having a dialogue on Facebook. But eventually you get to the inevitable question. It goes something like this. "So, tell me how your life has turned out."

The question tends to yield a somewhat predictable answer. We hear of spouses, marriages, children, careers, grandchildren and other milestones. Frankly, most of them are pretty encouraging. I'm learning that these people I'm reconnecting with are well-adjusted, satisfied and living good lives. None of them are rich or famous. But they are secure and content. (I think that's better!)

So I went through a few of these, and they all had what I call "happy endings." Besides the woman who wasn't dead, I suppose the biggest story was the son of an old high school friend. This high school buddy had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and dropped out of our freshmen year of college to go back home and marry her. Looking for him on-line, I accidentally connected with his son by the same name (he is a junior).

I thought at first I was talking to my old friend. I soon realized that this was his adult son - the product of that ill-fated pregnancy many years ago. That son is an ordained minister now, with two kids. (They are the grandchildren of my old high school pal.) And my mind went back to the memory of the conversation we had about the possibility of an abortion. I am thinking to myself as I correspond with this young man, "Wow! I remember your father and mother considering getting an abortion when you were conceived!"

Faced with the choice of having an abortion and pursuing their own desires in life, they instead chose to get married, make sacrifices and raise the child. I eventually connected with the young man's parents and there's no doubt they are eternally grateful that they did not have an abortion. They are still happily married and now have this fine young man for a son, and some wonderful grandchildren. It's a surreal experience. I don't remember any joy with that pregnancy, the dropping out of college, etc. In fact, I remember a lot of tears. But today, well there is joy - and lot's of it.

I don't know when exactly it was that it first started. But somewhere along the way, it became more than just fun to catch up and hear how their lives had turned out. I started to realize that these stories were giving me hope. Maybe when I was younger I envisioned some sort of reunion where I would celebrate that fact (hopefully) that I was better off then they were. I think we all secretly have a bit of that envious streak in us with regard to class reunions, for instance.

But the reality is I am quite pleased to hear that their lives have turned out well. More than pleased, I'm joyous and filled with hope. Quite frankly, it makes me focus more on the long term blessings of God. I begin to see that while God was working things out in my life, He was doing the same for so many other people. Truly, He is a remarkable God!

I don't know how many more long lost friends, peers, co-workers, etc. I will get to connect with on these social media networks. But I have to say that I'm anxious to find more of them. Each one I find seems to bring a story of hope. It brings a story of God's amazing grace, and re-affirms the fact that life does work out, despite its distractions.

I'm praising God for these social media reunions. And I wonder if anyone ever imagined that social media networks could deliver such a fantastic result!

Facebook Pastors

Is your pastor on Facebook? Or MySpace? How about LinkedIn? Do you follow your pastor on Twitter? Are you getting his (or her) Facebook updates or Tweets throughout the day?

This past year I've made quite an intentional effort to engage the social networks. Mostly I wanted to see if they were really as relevant as everyone seems to think. In the process, I've "friended" or followed several different pastors from several different churches. They include senior pastors, executive pastors, administrative pastors, youth pastors and even worship pastors.

In a nutshell, I think I've got the ground covered on pastors and their Facebooking or Tweeting. And I've got a pretty good representative sample across a range of churches - from big, mega-churches to smaller community churches. Don't get me wrong. I actually know all of these people. It would also be fair to categorize some of them as true friends of mine.

But the collage of all these relationships assembled on-line is an interesting one. It's represented in each of the social networks - but Facebook and Twitter are the ones I find most intriguing. Let's look at the pastors I'm connected with on Facebook, for example.

I'm not sure what's up with the pastors on Facebook. I suspect they all have different trains of thought behind their posts. That appears pretty obvious in their updates.

Overall, there seem to be a couple of different categories of pastors on Facebook. Just like all other people "on Facebook," some pastors simply establish a profile ... and hardly ever log in or post any updates. Then there are the pastors who are on Facebook ... literally. They log in and post throughout the day, or at least with daily or near daily frequency. Like I said, this is quite similar to people from other walks of life who are allegedly on these social networks.

Now of those pastors who are actually active on a frequent basis on Facebook, the things they're posting seem to fall into two or three categories:

1. Updates that are personal in nature and let you know what's going on in the life of that individual. "Having coffee on the porch with my daughter, enjoying the sunset."

2. Updates that are fluffy and don't really say anything. (Posting Bible verses and interesting quotes - that belong to other people.)

3. Updates that look like billboard advertisements or cheers for the football time. "Going to be an awesome service tomorrow! You can't afford to miss it!"

Of course, there are those pastors that play Farmville, Mafia Wars or other Facebook games. (And as I said earlier, the pastors who just have a profile and don't post at all.)

So what is best?

If God called you to be a pastor, what do you suppose God expects of you in terms of Facebook? Does He even want you on Facebook in the first place? If so, how does He want you on Facebook? Are your Facebook posts Spirit-led? Should they be? Or is Facebook a place where a man (or woman) of God should just let their hair down and be real? Can you set your role as a pastor aside in some walks of life, such as on the golf course, at parties or on social networks?

I know this will come as a surprise to those who read me regularly, but I actually don't have a position to take on this one. I haven't come to a conclusion one way or the other. As you can tell though, I'm studying it. And I'm learning from my pastor friends and their Facebook posts.

While I'm thinking this through, I'm remembering the fact that pastors are called to be shepherds and care for the sheep. I'm wondering if any of them see Facebook as a tool to help them in that role. So far none of them seems to. Frankly, I think that's a bit odd.

Businesses, for example, are finding that social networks are great tools to better serve their customers - which has many of the same dynamics as caring for sheep. Could it be that Facebook would improve the effectiveness of a shepherd, called and anointed by God Himself, to feed and care for the sheep?

I'm going to keep studying this. But I can tell you now, I suspect there's a revelation in here somewhere! (And I'll let you know when I find it.)

Cause Invitation

If you're on Facebook - I mean really participating on it regularly - then you've no doubt received one. I'm talking about those "causes" that your "friends" ask you to "join."

I put these words in quotes because I'm unsure of their meaning in this context. That is to say that I don't know how cause, friend or join are defined in the land of Facebook. You know, it's the land where you can have friends you've never met or talked to (even on-line).

Today's invitation was from someone I know, a relative actually. And I respect her. She asked me to join what appears to be a noble cause: Free Postage for All Families of Deployed Military. Who wouldn't want that? I love and admire - and pray for - our deployed soldiers and their families. They're awesome and our country owes them so much more than free postage.

So I considered joining this "cause." But upon investigation, I learned a couple of things. First, the people in this supposed cause aren't actually doing anything to bring any free postage to deployed military families. Just putting a page on Facebook doesn't make anything happen. And whoever set the page up on Facebook hasn't actually said what they want to do to make it happen.

Still, a surprising number, 2,650,884 people have joined this cause! And they appear to be joining as fast as I can check the page too. On the other hand, a real telling measure of their true intent is the amount of money this group of people have given to this noble cause. The amount? A whopping $25.00. No kidding. So more than 2.6 million people cared so much about this that they were able to raise a total of $25.00 to support it. Talk about putting your money where your mouth is!

Upon further investigation, I find that the need for free postage for military families is really not all that great either. You see, people are misinformed. Many on this Facebook page are saying that soldiers have to pay for postage. They do not.

Soldiers deployed overseas do not have to pay for postage. Their friends and families do need to pay postage to send things to the deployed soldiers. The postal service also offers a real discount on the large, Priority Flat-Rate box going to any APO or FPO (military) address. It’s not free, but it’s a substantial deal – and you can stuff the box as full as you want for just one low price.

So the postage burden for the deployed soldier to write home or send souvenirs home is zero. And the postage burden for friends and family of the deployed soldier to write or send cookies is only nominal. Simply put, this doesn't look like much of a burden. It would seem that if we're going to raise money to lobby Congress about something - there are more important "causes" to "join."

As you might guess, I have not joined this cause. But I think it illustrates a reality in the land of Facebook. People are gullible. People are also not terribly sincere when they say they support something. When the cost of your support is only a mouse-click, then what is the value of your support? I'd say it's negligible.

Could Facebook be used to rally serious people around worthwhile causes? Perhaps. But it would appear that we are still waiting for that opportunity to materialize!

Twittering Facebook

It has now been about nine months since I joined the tens of millions on Facebook, and the millions on Twitter. Recently I noticed that I now have over 300 "friends" on Facebook. I have to confess that I actually gave up on Twitter and even deleted my profile there, just before Thanksgiving. (Honestly, it was the lamest waste of time I've seen in some time!)

But I'm finding that Facebook poses an interesting dichotomy. On the one hand, I've connected with former colleagues, schoolmates, long-lost relatives and even a couple of old girl friends. I even connected with someone I'd not heard from in about 27 years and thought was long dead! So there is definitely a power in Facebook that's unrivaled in modern culture. No matter who you are, I'm convinced there are people you know on Facebook.

Now the interesting thing I'm noticing lately is the intersection of Twitter and Facebook. People are Twittering stuff and referring to it on Facebook. They'll post a message on Facebook and tell people to go to their Twitter profile to see something. (Why not just post it on Facebook?) When I was on Twitter I don't recall seeing people ask me to go check their Facebook wall. So I'm trying to understand how the two complement each other in practical terms. From my perspective, it seems that Facebook has got everything Twitter offers ... and a whole lot more.

But there are rebels. Some of them are even on Facebook. They're a bit angry about Facebook, and resent the fact that they have to be on it. Some of them refuse to get on Facebook. I tried to connect with a relative recently and was sharply rebuked for it. She informed me that we can e-mail just as easily and she only has friends on Facebook whom she doesn't e-mail with. There's a logic for you. "I'll only friend people on Facebook whom I don't talk to." Interesting.

Then there are those people on Facebook who really aren't on Facebook. Oh sure, they went on it once and set up a profile. They friended about ten people and maybe posted a profile picture. And they haven't been back since. They don't post any updates, they don't respond to any messages you send them, and they don't have any pictures depicting what's going on in their lives. So are they really on Facebook?

The really curious crowd (to me, at least) are the ones on Facebook who seem to be on there several times a day, at all hours of the day. They're not saying much, and most of them are just playing Farmville or Mafia Wars (Farmville seems to be the most popular). I'm glad they enjoy it. But I have to admit I get annoyed when I get messages asking me to help them find a "little lost reindeer" (that doesn't exist) on their farm (which doesn't exist). Apparently these people are having a blast playing these games on Facebook though. More power to them.

Lately I've been questioning the value of Facebook. Now that I've found the approximately 300 people whose names I can remember in life --- it seems to be losing its luster. It was interesting when I was finding and connecting with people I thought were dead. Without new finds every day or so, not so much then.

And the people I'm connected to on Facebook? Hardly talk to any of them. One guy I hadn't seen since 1976. I wrote and told him a bit about me and my life. Then I asked him to tell me a bit about him and his life. Is he married? Kids? Career? Health? Interesting hobbies? As I eagerly awaited his response, I got his invitation to play Mafia Wars. I ignored it (officially). After a while, I wrote him again and said, "No, really want to know you again. Please write back." His response? "Let's play mafia wars together."

So the thing is that the people I'm friends with on Facebook are really not my friends. In fact most of my true friends in life aren't connecting with me there anyway. There are people I like whom I can keep up with ... if they post updates and pictures. But the rest don't seem to have any value. Friending people on Facebook starts to feel like collecting baseball cards (except you are acquainted with most of the players).

I think I'm going to stick with Facebook for now. But I am starting to wonder if the value proposition isn't going to appear for some of us. It's a bit like having a TV but not watching it. Facebook might have 350 million active profiles, but they can't convince me that they've got 350 million users.

Social Networks

So I'm on Facebook, Twitter and some of those other "social networking" sights. People friend me, tweet me, link me, etc. Some of them I know. Some of them I am familiar with. Some of them I would call "friend."

But I notice something as I scroll down the list of them on each of these sites. The thing I notice is that I am not in a relationship with most of them.

What are we supposed to do with that? God created us to be relational. I don't think He created us to be networked or linked. That's not relational.

Following someone on Twitter isn't like knowing them. One of the guys that follows me on Twitter is "following" literally thousands of people. How could anyone really do that?

Let's face it, he won't actually follow me. He just has electronic feeds from thousands of people. Those feeds bring him any updates that those people publish. But with hundreds or thousands of updates a day or even per week - he's probably not reading most of them. Folks, he's in denial. He's not following me at all!

As I scroll down my list on Facebook, for example, I am also struck with a wave of sadness. There are people on there whom I admire a great deal. I would like to know them. I wish they were my intimate friend. If I could wave a magic wand and make the world different, there'd be time and intent between us to develop a deep friendship.

So what then is social networking? We got into a deep discussion at work today, as the bank looks for ways to mine business value from social networks. Many businesses believe they can. If a business can mine financial value from a social networking site, are those the same dynamics that can enrich my life or yours? What is the real, practical and tangible value that you and I can expect from them?

I suppose I'll continue to get into the social networking scene. It's almost as if you're absence would be more noticeable than your presence. But I have to admit that I'm wandering around these sites any more, wondering where the value is. I mean ... why am I out here?

Perhaps we could create a site where I reach out to you and instead of "friending" or "tweeting" or "following" you, I could simply say something like, "Hey, I have admired you for a long time and would cherish a deep friendship with you. Can we be intentional about pursuing that together?"

But I suppose we couldn't call it a social network. Instead, we'd have to call it a relational network. Now where can I find some of those to join?