Hospitality

The notion of hospitality is related to the word "hospital." It comes from Latin hospitālitās, from hospitālis (see hospital). In other words, we practice true hospitality when we generously and cordially throw open the doors of our homes to care for others. In hospitality, we nurture, strengthen and serve. The result is that others find physical, spiritual and emotional help. When they leave us, they are healthier and more whole than when they came.

So let's contrast that with today's version of hospitality. Does it match? What do you think of when you hear that word? There's a hospitality industry. Perhaps it could be considered to have these elements. (Of course it charges a fee for its caring and serving.) That seems like one legitimate definition. Hospitals provide similar services (for a fee), but in a different context. Still, it sounds pretty legitimate when compared to the original meaning and origin of the word.

What is it that causes me to pause and reflect on this word then? Why would I question our modern-day understanding of what hospitality is? Well, I just finished reading the local city magazine for our town. You know the type. They extol the virtues of cosmetic surgery and talk about how family-friendly the city is. There's often a feature story on some local household and how remarkable they are.

In our city, that story is most often centered around how they've bought or built a wonderful (huge) home. The story will go on about how they've meticulously imported antiques or some mirror or stairway spindles from Europe, hauled a rug from their travels to Asia, and spent $2 million designing a "magical garden" complete with foot paths and a koi pond. I'm not exaggerating here. There are stories like this in our local magazine several times each year.

Invariably, the proud homeowners will be quoted as saying something like, "We felt a little guilty having such a big and fabulous home. But we told the Lord we would surely use it to minister to others." Then they talk about the great parties they've thrown and the fun they've had throwing those parties. Ducky Bob's brought the tents. A terrific caterer that once catered for former President Bush did the food. Dozens of people came, including celebrities. This of course was the "ministry" that the homeowners dedicated their palace to God for.

Once some old acquaintances invited us to their home. It was one of those 'picture-perfect' magazine homes. (They had become quite wealthy.) I have to say that we felt anything but loved and nurtured while we were there. It seemed mostly they just liked to talk about their stuff. They boasted about all they had, put down people less fortunate than themselves, and even made fun of us in some ways. When we left, we were not (physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually) healthier or more whole than when we had arrived. Quite the opposite was true. Visiting them was stressful and felt like a chore that we would be glad to have out of the way.

What is happening here? Our modern-day culture is practicing a rather perverse form of hospitality. How can I say it's perverse? Because opening your mansion to the "little people" so they can admire your greatness and prosperity is not hospitality. Rather it is selfishness and pride. It displays greed. There is a significant difference between entertaining and hospitality. More often than not, people who think they are being hospitable are just entertaining.

So if you think you have "the gift of hospitality," ask yourself who is better off after you have hosted someone. Who feels better about it ... you or your guests? Perhaps those of us who "just love to entertain" need to realize that entertainment focuses all the attention on me. Hospitality focuses all my attention on you. And if I'm truly hospitable, you'll leave my home healthier and more whole than you were when you arrived!

Spiritual Vision

I often talk to people who tell me that they "don't hear anything from God." They are believers, religious and seem to be sincere in their faith. Yet they claim that God doesn't speak to them. Usually this comes up in the context of their knowing God's will for their life. All of us - who think it matters - want to know God's will for our lives. What does God want me to do? Where does God want me to go? Is this decision I'm about to make in accordance with God's will for me? Those questions haunt us. And it's right that they do! We should want the answers to those questions.

But what is one to do if God won't tell you? What is the conclusion one should reach? Sadly some people conclude that God doesn't care. They may question their salvation. They may wonder what they've done to cause God to act with such indifference toward them. Still others get frustrated, maybe even angry with God. Of course none of these is an appropriate response. Instead, I believe the answers are in God's Word (the Bible).

Jesus taught an important sermon, called the "Sermon on the Mount." You can read it in Matthew, chapters five (5) through seven (7). In Matthew 6:22-23, Jesus said, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness." Now, let's be clear. Jesus wasn't talking about our physical eyes. Rather He was speaking of our spiritual vision - the ability to see things from God's perspective. Some have called it discernment. Others have called it spiritual maturity. But I think spiritual vision is a good way to understand it.

Spiritual vision is our capacity to see clearly what God wants us to do and to see the world from His point of view. But this spiritual vision can be clouded. Self-serving desires, interests and goals can readily block that spiritual vision. The problem is, that most of the Christians I know don't seem to be aware of their self-serving desires, interests and goals. Yet it is clear to me that they stand in the way. So whenever I feel as if God isn't speaking to me ... it's time for some self-evaluation. How focused am I on God and His priorities? How well am I listening to God (i.e., spending time in contemplative prayer, reading my Bible, listening to wise counsel)?

If something is clouding my view of God, or my ability to see things His way, I can be certain that He didn't put it there. It is God's will to reveal Himself - and His ways, to us. So it would never be His will to block that view. He wants us to be informed, to understand and not to be ignorant or misguided.

When I identify some self-serving desires, interests and goals within me, it is time to crucify them. And the best way to crucify my selfishness is to serve God and His agenda. Put others before myself. Set myself aside. Make some sacrifices for others. Compromise some of my own priorities for God's sake. This could be as simple as giving up the football game to go to church or to do some volunteer work. Or it could be as pronounced as selling my lake house and funding a mission with the money. Talking to God ... and listening to God ... will usually provide me with the Holy Spirit's leading when it comes to crucifying my selfishness.

So, if you think God is not speaking to you --- you are probably wrong. He is a man of few words (to coin a phrase). But He is not a God of secrets. Just remember it is His will to reveal Himself and His will to each of His followers. The only thing to question then is how well I am following!

Valentine's Day

Its Valentine's Day; the day when we celebrate love. An interesting celebration it is too. Candy, flowers, cards. I've noticed that the flowers seem to get cheaper as they go into the tents in the Kroger parking lot ... but the cards get pricier as they stack up on fancy kiosks --- in the same store. What's up with that?

Love is an interesting proposition. Society often talks about being in love. We see the magazines on the news stands heralding some new celebrity and how happy they are with their latest love. It occurs to me that happiness isn't the point of love. The Bible has a lot to say about love. It speaks of God's love for us --- incredible. It speaks of our love for God --- usually falling short. It speaks of our love for each other --- probably misunderstood. So what are we celebrating here?

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. ... When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. - 1 Corinthians 13 (NLV)

So there it is, the real definition of love. Will you get or give a Valentine's Day card that reflects that truth? Or will you get a card that speaks and reasons and thinks as a child? Does your focus of love include patient and kind? Not jealous or rude? Does it demand its own way? Many of us grew up having life experiences from people who loved us, but we didn't experience it. Few among us have escaped the lament of, "I don't want to grow become my parents."

Why don't we? Mostly because we saw an imperfect love. We saw a love that was tainted with sin and other aspects of humanity. But then we go out in our own lives and start building the same dimensions of love for those we care about and are in relationship with. If I had been the Apostle Paul and had written 1 Corinthians 13, I probably would have added something like, "Love is not perfect. It forgives everything. Love doesn't sweat the small stuff."

And don't get me started about sex. Somehow Valentine's Day cards have become racy. I've seen some in the card racks that looked nearly obscene. I'm sure if I went to different stores, I probably could find obscene Valentine's Day cards. When did we equate sex with love? It is a dimension of love. It is not the dimension of love. The presence of sex doesn't signify the presence of love. By contrast, the absence of sex doesn't indicate the absence of love.

To be honest, I think we've been deceived by sexuality. When most of us think of "good sex," we think of what we got out of it. In other words, we focus on the selfish dimensions of the experience. Look at 1 Corinthians 13, and ask yourself what it promises for you? There is nothing selfish about it. Nowhere does it say love is rewarding, meets all your needs, makes you feel significant, makes you feel safe. Quite the contrary, the truth about love is what you can give, not what you can get. Now, re-think your sexuality in that filter, and see what you can give.

Sexuality has become perhaps the biggest joke of mankind. Whatever God meant for good we have certainly perverted to a sense that one might question what value can be left. In today’s' news, a woman in German auctioned off the opportunity to have sex with her in an on-line auction site. Six (6) men won bids to have sex with her. She willingly had sex with all six them, knowing each of them only by their on-line ID. (Read about it at http://www.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/idUSL1355570120080213).

Do you suppose this was God's plan for sex? Do you suppose there could be any love here whatsoever? Making the travesty even worse, now she is pregnant and can't imagine which one of the men is the father. I'm guessing her future son or daughter may have some questions about what love is. Too bad mom and dad won't have any answers.

This Valentine's Day, let us reflect on 1 Corinthians 13. Let us consider what love really is. And let us resolve to change our thinking and our ways concerning love. If we ever get that right, then it truly will be a happy Valentine's Day!