The Promise of Recovery

Okay, I've gotten some inquiries these past few days. They've all centered around my recent publishing of a Celebrate Recovery testimony. Basically, the writers want to know if they can expect the same testimony from Celebrate Recovery if they engage in it. (The answer, of course, is "No." God works in each of us differently.)

So what is the promise of Celebrate Recovery? What will it give me? Eventually, Celebrate Recovery will help you gain victory over whatever it is that troubles you. But more importantly is who it helps you become. Those are two important words ... victory and who. What is victory? Who are you? How does God define victory? How does God want to define you?

King David said in Psalm 17:3, "Though you probe my heart and examine me ... , though you test me, you will find nothing." Was he perfect or sinless? Of course not. He later spent most of Psalms 32 and 51 telling us what a wretched sinner he was! Had he changed his mind? No. So what was up with King David? How is that relevant to the promise of recovery?

What King David had was an understanding of his relationship with God. He knew who he was in Christ. He knew the God that lives in His people. David freely acknowledged and confessed his sins. He constantly sought God. His relationship with God was one of close fellowship, constant repentance and forgiveness.

David's claim to goodness was based on his continual seeking of God. It was based on his being grounded in the truth. He knew that Romans 7 and Romans 8 were both true at the same time. And he daily lived out those truths. This is where Celebrate Recovery will take you ... if you allow it.

So how do I make Celebrate Recovery work for me? You must participate. There are no exceptions. It's not a book, a program or a quick fix. You must be engaged and stay that way. Go to the worship and teaching hour at your local CR church. Stay for the open share small groups. Sign up for and complete a step study.

In other words - work the program. It is a discipleship program. It can change your life. But you'll never be transformed by something in which you're not engaged and committed.

CR Principle 8

Principle 8 says I yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and my words. (Step 12)

“Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.” Matthew 5:10

You know, I suppose the best evidence of that might be that I’m here sharing my story with you now. However, I think it goes much further than that. Most of us come into recovery for selfish reasons. We want to feel better. We want more victory in our lives.

Even if we come expecting to give back, it’s not usually a yielding that we have in mind. There’s evidence of that when people become offended and leave Celebrate Recovery, often with an indignant proclamation that “I don’t have to put up with this or that!”

As I studied the Bible verse that goes with Principle 8 though, it seemed rather odd to me. I understood persecution like being burned at the stake or have pygmies chase missionaries with their spears. I have read about how the Christians in China must hide to avoid persecution by their Communist government. Jesus said those who are persecuted would be happy. I wondered how I could be happy, if I can’t ever get chased by pygmies or tangle with the Chinese government.

I prayed about this and God led me to focus on the word persecuted. I researched it and found that in the original text, the word was more commonly translated as spent. When I inserted that word, Matthew 5:10 seemed to say, “Happy are those who allow themselves to be spent doing what God requires.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve found myself spent on several occasions in my service through Celebrate Recovery and my church. The idea of God spending me was an intriguing notion.

I eventually left my secular job and went on staff at my church for a few years. My official title was Pasor of Spiritual Formation & Ministry Development. But Celebrate Recovery was by far the largest and most impactful ministry I had to develop. So I functioned most of the time as a Recovery Pastor. It was a place where God taught me much about Himself and about myself - to say nothing of what He taught me about others.

I began to see that the Christians could do a very good job of persecuting. I would serve without recognition or appreciation. I was spent doing what God requires. I would face conflict or church politics. I would make sacrifices for church service. Inevitably I would find myself being spent doing what God requires. I began to realize this is what Jesus meant.

I don't work (for pay) in a church now. Maybe I will again one day. But I hold a secular job. And I still find that God spends me as I go about the business of doing what He requires in my church, my job, my community and even my family. I think I will spend the rest of my life being spent doing what God requires. I think He always will - and I wouldn't have it any other way.

You see, when I accomplish Principle 3, turning my life and will over to Christ, I become His. The apostles in the New Testament introduced themselves as “slaves of Christ.” We are His property. And He can choose to spend us any way He wants --- if we have really accomplished that Principle 3. So the more fully I execute Principle 3, the more fully I belong to Him –-- and am His to spend. It turns out that it pleases my Lord to spend me as I do His will.

Now, when I tempted to quit because it’s hard, I’m not appreciated, I get blackballed on something, etc. ---- I just have to remember this is me being spent while I do what God requires. And He promises I’ll be happy if I allow Him to spend me.

How is God spending me as I do what He requires? Well, I have sponsored more men than I can count. I have led numerous step studies in several different churches. I do crisis counseling with pastors who are themselves in trouble. I have traveled to Africa to train pastors and help them deal with their issues. My wife and I have adopted eight (8) more children. I launched Celebrate Recovery in a Ugandan prison, training prisoners to be spiritual leaders in the prison, as they implement a Celebrate Recovery program in the prison – run by the prisoners. God is spending me in all sorts of way. And I am happy about it.

CLOSING
In closing, I want to encourage you. Celebrate Recovery is not an event or a program. It is a way of life. Jesus gave us these principles for effective living. I discovered a long time ago, in my own recovery journey, that Jesus didn’t hang on that cross so that I could live a defeated life. Rather He hung there to give me victory. So today, I expect victory. But I understand that victory is a process.

There are times when I slip up on Principle 1 or Principle 4. I’ll discover some denial creeping back into my life. Or I’ll find myself procrastinating on the self examination and confession part. Perhaps I’ll find myself struggling with voluntarily submitting to another change that God wants to make in me. The point is, that you never complete any of these principles. Instead, you get up every day and resolve to make them your game plan for that day. It is one day at a time.

Jesus told us that His yoke would be easy and the burden light. I think He meant that the Christian life is not supposed to be a struggle. We don’t have to fight to be virtuous or work hard to be righteous. We simply yield to Him, humbling ourselves to do life His way, and He creates that hunger and thirst for righteousness in us.

Let’s keep working these principles and start expecting to find victory in our lives. After all, that was Jesus’ purpose on the cross!

CR Principle 7

Principle 7 says I reserve a time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. (Steps 10 and 11)

I think it’s in Isaiah somewhere, where God says something like, “Come, let’s talk this over. I can handle your issues and give you victory.” You know, preachers are always preaching to us about this personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I have to admit that I’d heard it so much it had begun to sound like rhetoric. I didn’t grasp anything about it and assumed the people who did were either religious fanatics or were so godly I could never have what they had with God.

Establishing a daily quiet time with God, for self examination, Bible reading and prayer was no less a challenge for me than any of the other principles. It seemed there would be no end to the distractions and good, plausible reasons why I could not do this.

But two things helped motivate me. First, I got a daily devotional and began to use that to help develop the discipline. If I missed a day or two, I would be conscientious about making it up --- doing two or three daily devotionals at once. Eventually, it got easier and became more habit. (I felt strange if I missed.)

The second thing that helped me was when my sponsor told me it would be impossible for me to be transformed by something with which I was not familiar. I pondered that statement a bit. It seemed a bit rude. But I realized it made sense. How could I expect to be transformed by something I wasn’t willing to spend time with?

So I began to read with expectation. I would sit down with my Bible and an ink pen. I would underline things that seemed to speak to me, or seemed particularly relevant. It didn’t take long before I was finding something to underline every single day. Then I added a journal to it. I didn’t have anything to write in the journal every day. But I kept it with my Bible and jotted down things when they came up. What emerged there was a pattern of self examination, me journaling my examination with God.

Later I added another journal, a separate notebook in which to write things I thought God was telling me. That began to fill up. I began to see all sorts of things that God was telling me in the Bible. Most of them I would put in the category of God’s will for my life (although some just seemed like wisdom).

Today, I keep a Bible with three different colored pens to underline and make notes in. When one Bible gets full, I put it on the shelf and purchase another translation and start working through that. I keep both notebooks with my Bible and take my daily quiet time with me even when I travel. I couldn’t be without it. But this has been a pattern that I had to be intentional about developing.

I will reserve a daily time with the Lord for self examination, Bible reading and prayer. It’s a commitment that you must make. It will pay off. But keep in mind that it is not your human nature to do this, and the enemy will oppose you. So unless you are intentional, it won’t happen.

CR Principle 6

Principle 6 says I evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others when possible, except when to do so would harm them or others. (Steps 8 and 9)

“Happy are the merciful.” Matthew 5:7
“Happy are the peacemakers.” Matthew 5:9

Who are the merciful? When I first began to work Principle 6, I thought of my wife. She’s got the spiritual gift of mercy. I never thought I had it. I had the gift of sarcasm and cynicism. But Jesus said merciful and happy go hand in hand.

What does it take to be merciful? I looked at Jesus. I studied His life and work and words. I saw that Jesus never defended Himself. He never got angry when He was mistreated or slighted. Like God Himself, Jesus already decided to forgive my sin even before I sinned.

I began to realize that I would need to start going into conflicts with the intent to forgive – before I even discerned who was right and who was wrong, or who was sorry. In other words, the merciful lead with forgiveness. In fact, the merciful offer forgiveness to people who don’t ask for it. God offers forgiveness to people who don’t want it.

Naturally, this changed much in my relationships with my family, friends, co-workers and even clients. I had to stop focusing on the offense and start focusing on the love. It has been quite a paradigm shift.

And what about those peace makers? Who are they and how do I become one? As I studied those who made peace in the Bible, and I looked at godly men and women whom I see as peace makers today, I began to see a pattern emerge. Peace makers take risks. They butt in. They tell the truth in love, even when it would be more convenient and socially acceptable to lie or just keep silent.

Peace makers wade into conflicts. They don’t swim around them or avoid them. In fact, I think true peace makers have conflict resolution as a core competency. (I wonder what would happen if our churches had that core competency!)

I began to see that my old, codependent patterns of avoiding conflict at all cost had to change. No longer could I just groan and complain behind the backs of people I had differences with. I would either need to truthfully address those differences – or forgive them.

I began to understand that conflict is a good indication of sin. It could be my sin, it could be your sin, it could be someone else’s sin --- or it could be any combination thereof. At any rate, God began to show me that sin must be identified and either confronted or forgiven. There aren’t any other options. So if you and I have a difference, we either deal with the difference or we throw it out. It is never allowed to just fester and nurture bad feelings and ungodly thinking in either of us.

Today, I have more relationships and more of them are authentic and transparent. More people really know me than ever before. I know more people than I ever really knew before. My relationships aren’t on the surface. Most importantly, my relationships are without lies – even “white lies.”

I understand that being merciful and being a peace maker are pre-meditated decisions that I must make every day, in every situation. And guess what? I find my relationships work better than ever.

CR Principle 5

Principle 5 says I voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. (Steps 6 and 7)

“Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.” Matthew 5:6

You know, every one of these principles of Celebrate Recovery can be perplexing. Each tends to involve more than the words would indicate at first glance. When I first read this principle, I was ready to agree to the voluntary part. I was also ready to humbly ask God to remove my character defects. (The list of those had grown immensely through my inventory process!) But all the changes God wants to make in my life? What exactly are those changes? How many of us really know?

I meet people who complain that they have difficulty discerning God’s will for their life. “I just want to know God’s will for my life.” I used to be one of those people. I wanted a burning bush to speak, beside a parted sea, with a star shining in the east --- with my name on it. I wanted God to lay out a plan for my life. And I wanted it to be a good plan that I would be pleased with.

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for me. It is a plan to prosper me and give me hope and a future. That sounds pretty good. But it turns out that God’s plan for me and most everyone else doesn’t exactly look like we expect it to.

I’ve made a habit of reading my Bible daily. God has been happy to reveal His will for my life. I think He’s revealed it to you too. The thing is, we have to be looking and listening for it. Jesus said, more than once, that those who have ears should listen. I think He understood our human nature … which is to overlook the details and keep searching for the dramatic climax in life.

What were the changes God wanted to make in my life? Well there were many. As I began to voluntarily submit, I found that God wanted me to:

· Love my wife unconditionally and sacrificially, setting aside my rights in this marriage.
· Love my children with grace and forgiveness, setting aside indignation and frustration.
· Be reconciled in all my relationships, even if it takes being right.
· Submit to my pastor and the other spiritual and even secular leaders God has placed in my life.
· View my money as His money and make financial decisions accordingly.
· Reconcile my anger with righteousness and godliness, and learn what it really means to get angry without sinning (as Jesus did).
· Confess my sins, all of them, in explicit detail, to someone who is trustworthy, on a regular basis.
· Stop using fear as criteria for decision making.

I think you get the picture. The list of things that comprise God’s will for my life continues to unfold.

I have one other aspect of Principle 5 to tell you about. All of my life I struggled with obesity. I used to worry about being overweight. Finally God showed me that He was not at all concerned about my weight. Rather God was concerned about my sin --- which resulted in my obesity.

I would try to lose weight. God would try to change my sinful ways. This was a struggle that went on for decades. At the height of my obesity, I weighed 442 pounds. I had been a yo-yo dieter for years. I finally got to the point where I knew I didn’t have God’s permission to go on diets or chase any more weight-watching fads. My sin had to be dealt with. So I patiently waited on the Lord to lead me out of this mess I was in.

I keep a journal with my Bible, and sometimes the entries read more like prayers. In one that I made, I said something like, “God, are you ever going to lead me out of this mess I’ve made? It seems like I have waited on you forever on this subject. You’ve given me victory over all the other challenges in my life. Why won’t you give me victory here? I will continue to wait, but I have to admit that I’m often feeling hopeless that I will ever get victory in this area. Food is my enemy --- and this enemy is killing me. It seems like you’re just going to let it kill me too!”

Well, God was about to take me through Principle 5 in a whole new way. I’ll make a long story short, and just tell you that one of the changes God wanted to make in me - which I had to voluntarily submit to - was a new stomach surgery. As I prayed for a solution, God led me to a Christian doctor, and I ended up having about 80% of my stomach removed. It was an operation that insurance wouldn’t pay for, but for which God provided the money for.

I’m still not what anyone would call slim. But I can say with confidence that food is not killing me any more. I’m healthy and I feel great physically. The thing is, to get this victory, I had to voluntarily submit to a change God wanted to make in me. I was fearful of that change. I balked at that change. I argued with God about it. But ultimately, submission and surrender were required. Today, I can not eat what I want. I have a stomach that won’t handle much. I have given up many things that I enjoyed. Those were changes God wanted to make in me.

I’m not sure what other changes God may want to make in me. But I understand voluntarily submitting to those changes perhaps better than most people would imagine. I challenge each of you to consider what real changes God would like to make in your life. Then ask yourself what your submission to such changes will look like. It’s a vision we need to acquire if recovery is to be truly successful!

CR Principle 4

Principle 4 says I openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. (Steps 4 and 5)

“Happy are the pure in heart.” Matthew 5:8

I believe the first four (4) principles in Celebrate Recovery are the hardest. Each presented me with particular challenges and took some time to work through. Principle 4 was no exception.

James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another and be healed.” I had always understood that you must confess your sins to God to be forgiven. But somehow I had overlooked this “fine print” in the Bible! It turns out that healing from the sin patterns in my life required more than confession to God. It seems God’s plan for healing and giving me victory over habitual and addictive sin patterns requires me to humble myself before another piece of human flesh. I have to tell you, this was my least favorite part of recovery!

You see, I had dark sins to confess. My list of sin patterns was long --- and shameful. The simple fact of the matter had two components. First, I had always believed that my behaviors defined me. Secondly, I knew how bad I was. That had always been a dark secret which I protected at all costs.

But I came to realize through working the 4th Principle (and 4th Step) that God wants at least one other human being to know the very worst that there is to be known about me. I don’t understand why God has this condition for us. But I have come to understand that He is a God of conditions. And this is a big one. If I want a full life in Christ, I have to do things His way.

I mentioned the man I met in Korea. He was actually the first I confessed anything to. When I had confessed the worst of my sins to him, an enormous weight was lifted off of me. I came home and met face-to-face with three friends --- and told them what I’d done. I apologized for not trusting them and instead going to a stranger half way around the world. And I confessed the same sins to those men. They prayed for me and loved me and I am still very close with two of them today, several years later. Yet they know the very worst that there is to be known about me.

You see, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of Principle 4. The thing is we all need to get a “black belt” in confession. We confess what needs to be prayed over – not gossiped over. And we confess it to the saints (after all, it was mature believers that James was writing to). So I find a mature believer whom is trustworthy and I tell them I need to confess some things. I do it regularly. I do it truthfully. I stayed “confessed up.” You should too. The benefits are amazing. It is God’s plan for healing. Confess your sins to one another and be healed.

Those dark sins I’ve had to confess? I have victory over each and every single one of them today!

CR Principle 3

Principle 3 says, “I consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.” (Step 3)

“Happy are the meek.” Matthew 5:5

Well, here was yet another challenge for me. Remember that “basically good” person who didn’t really need a Savior but didn’t want to burn in hell? I had him to contend with again in Principle 3!

I’ve always learned in life that people don’t always do what they say, but they will always do what they believe. I think that’s a simple law of human nature. My own Christian life revealed much in that regard. Not believing that I really needed a Savior had a significant impact on my personal commitment to Christ.

The preacher had convinced me that if you didn’t “get saved” you would burn in hell. So in a sense what I did was get me some eternal fire insurance. That’s all I wanted from Jesus --- to keep me from burning in hell. Of course that totally missed the mark in terms of being a true Christian. Quite honestly, I look back and don’t know if I was really saved or not. I said I was saved. I called myself a Christian. But as I began to identify and address the denial in my life, I found much that didn’t look like Christ. Unfortunately, I was doing what I believed.

As I began to understand what a personal relationship with Christ really looks like, I was drawn to Jesus’ words in the gospels. He said we are to follow Him, lay down our lives for Him, and be willing to sacrifice or even suffer for Him. This was not the Christian walk I’d had in mind all my life.

It turned out that Jesus wanted to give me eternal salvation, to cover me with grace and forgive my sins. He wanted to make me whole, righteous and fully acceptable and pleasing to God.

But He wanted something in return. He wanted my commitment. He wanted my time. He wanted my mind. He wanted my body. He wanted my money, my career, my family, my relationships, my sexuality, even my hopes and dreams. Oddly enough, He also wanted my hurts, my failures, my fears, my hang-ups and that load of condemnation I’d been carrying around most of my life.

So I found myself sitting in my pastor’s office, telling him that I’d been baptized years ago, but needed a “re-do” of that baptism. I explained that now I got it and was finally mature enough to make such a commitment to Christ.

We had my second baptism, and I began to daily turn my life and will over to Christ’s care and control. It has made the difference between carrying eternal fire insurance and having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

CR Principle 2

Principle 2 says “I earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover.” (Step 2)

“Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

So this principle turned out to be a sizable challenge for me as well. As I wrestled with what it said, I found myself dissecting the sentence. I did earnestly believe that God exists. Unfortunately, Satan and his demons also believe that God exists. So it seemed to me that I was on par with the demons. No, my belief had to go further, which led me to the rest of the statement.

Believing that I mattered to God proved to be the most significant challenge in my entire Christian walk. You see, I had been abused in my childhood, systemically, over a long period of time. I believed in God. I just couldn’t imagine that God could believe in me. The definitions I had of myself weren’t good. I saw myself as worthless trash. I lived in condemnation. My own mother used to tell me that nobody would ever like me. I believed her.

God’s grace is a wonderful thing. It covers many faults and flaws and makes us acceptable to God. But if we try to walk around without it, we feel condemned, guilty, without value. That was how I was trying to live my so-called Christian life. I remember meeting a man on a Christian men’s forum at Crosswalk.com. He lived in Seoul, South Korea. I was looking for someone I could trust and confide in – and God led me to this man. Not long afterward, I found myself in Seoul on a business trip, and sitting before this same man. He showed me much grace and helped me to see that God really does love me.

I remember lying in my hotel room that night and talking to God about the revelation I’d had that day. It was if God were saying to me, “Larry, I sent my Son to die on the cross --- but you wouldn’t believe that. I’ve put others in your life --- and you’ve dismissed them. Now, that I’ve brought you half way around the world to speak to you through a stranger you met on the Internet, will you finally believe that I love you?”

That day, I came to believe. I’d been coming to believe before that, but belief just couldn’t be accomplished in me. I’ve discovered that belief is a strange thing. It’s not something I can just decide. I don’t get to pick my beliefs. I start out not believing and go on not believing. But eventually the evidence overwhelms me and I can’t not believe. Step 2, which correlates to Principle 2, says, “We came to believe …” I think that’s exactly right. We know we don’t believe, and we want to believe, so we come and we keep on coming.

We came to believe, that’s what I came to do. I’m so grateful to God that He helped me believe. When I finally believed that I mattered to God, it was like my recovery - my spiritual life - got on the autobahn! When you can actually believe the promises of God, everything changes.

CR Principle 1

Principle 1 says, “I realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.” (Step 1)

“Happy are those who know that they are spiritually poor.” Matthew 5:3

This principle is also known as the “denial principle,” because it requires us to step out of our denial. Honestly, when I started, I didn’t even know how much denial I had. The truth is I became a Christian not because I was convinced I needed a Savior – but rather because I had become convinced that it was either Jesus or hell … and I figured I’d take Jesus!

I spent most of my life, before and after identifying myself as a Christian, believing that I was basically a good person. I rationalized and justified most of my bad behaviors. More often than not though, I didn’t even see many of my behaviors as bad.

In recovery, I came to understand that I had denial I wasn’t even aware of. It seems that denial works differently than we imagine. One must first be willing to admit the possibility that denial exists before it can be fully identified and stepped out of. That’s precisely how it worked for me. In fact, I think I’m still uncovering bits of denial from time to time that I need to step out of.

Understanding this principle was a little confusing to me. On the surface, I always realized I was not God. But in recovery, I discovered that most of the time I’d tried to play God … manipulating and trying to control circumstances and people around me … as if I were God. (That was some of the denial I had to contend with.)

Admitting I was powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing was yet another challenge. I’d grown up in a Quaker church that was full of dos and don’ts for Christians. I believed that my behavior defined me – and had spent my life trying to deny my behaviors so they wouldn’t get the opportunity to define me.

Romans 7 helped me come to grips with this reality. It’s the chapter where Paul speaks of doing the things he doesn’t want to do and not doing the things he wants to do. I didn’t really understand spiritual poverty, but I could certainly identify with the Apostle Paul. Then he concluded by saying, “Oh what a wretched man am I!” I felt as if I could have written those words myself.

As I pressed into Christ and into recovery, and became much more familiar with the truths of the Bible, I began to know how spiritually poor I am. What that means is that I began to realize how desperately in need of a Savior I really am.

The biggest epiphany I had was one Christmas Eve a few years ago. I sat in church and just sobbed tears of joy --- for I finally understood the significance of this Savior of mine. (Celebrate Recovery had made Christmas much bigger!)

Celebrate Recovery

In the past, I've mentioned Celebrate Recovery on this blog. It is a ministry invented at Saddleback Church, where the term "Purpose Driven" was coined by Pastor Rick Warren. I've been both a fan and a critic of Celebrate Recovery.

Recent experiences with my own church and experiences I've had visiting some other churches have caused me to re-examine my thinking on the subject of Celebrate Recovery. If I'm totally honest with myself (a concept Celebrate Recovery would encourage), I have to admit that my relationship with this ministry has been a bit like a roller coaster.

I remember years ago, when I was involved in men's ministry. Promise Keepers, a ministry to men, was big at the time. I jumped on the Promise Keepers bandwagon. I took men to their conferences. I even took 22 men to their "Million Man March" on the Mall in Washington, DC. They were incredible experiences. And of course I bought the Promise Keepers music CD's, t-shirts and coffee mugs. Today, Promise Keepers is pretty much not a part of my thinking. It's off the radar.

Looking back on my relationship with Celebrate Recovery, I see some similarities to how I related to Promise Keepers. To be sure, both ministries had a positive impact in my spiritual growth. To be fair, Celebrate Recovery has had a much stronger impact - with longer lasting results. But I see that I jumped on the CR bandwagon, buying their CD's, attending their conferences, even getting the t-shirts and coffee mugs. I was a "fan." That first cycle lasted a good couple of years.

And then it happened. Someone in Celebrate Recovery wounded me. So I recoiled. I got hurt. I got disappointed. I began to question whether CR was really an impactful ministry or a fad. I compared it to Promise Keepers, and concluded that it lacked strategy and leadership. In time, the wounds would heal and I would again be drawn back to Celebrate Recovery. Over about six years now, I've been through at least a couple of those cycles. At one point, I saw myself as the wise critic - able to see the benefits, but even more qualified to evaluate the weaknesses.

It would be accurate to say that Celebrate Recovery has a flawed distribution model. Saddleback has done a dismal job of moving this ministry out into the local churches. Very few churches actually do it well. In fact, I'd say that most of the CR churches in North Texas have a mediocre Celebrate Recovery ministry at best. It's open to interpretation and application. Of course leadership and discipline seem to make the difference in whether a church gets an excellent CR ministry or not. And I thought it was that simple.

But God has recently shown me a couple of things. First, Christianity in general has a flawed distribution model. Too much of it is open to interpretation and application. Of course leadership and discipline seem to make the difference between a good church and an ineffective church.

I see that Jesus told His disciples not to worry too much about that. "If they're not against us, then they are for us." I believe that was basically what He said. I think He meant that any brand of Jesus that is based on truth is better than no Jesus at all. I think He meant that is true even if a particular brand of Jesus (i.e., denomination) doesn't meet our expectations or our human standards. I'm understanding that this is probably true of Celebrate Recovery as well.

Second, I suspect God is showing me Celebrate Recovery, or at least its principles, have become part of my "spiritual DNA." In other words, they have become so ingrained in my thinking that I cannot leave them behind. I was asked to share my testimony last week at a church which has Celebrate Recovery. I had shared it at this particular church before, and they were interested in an update. So I sat down to write it out. Of course I prayed before I began writing. I was surprised by what I ended up writing.

God led me to write out the eight (8) principles of Celebrate Recovery, and talk about their practical application in my own life. If you're not familiar with this ministry or its principles, they are based on Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, found in the 5th chapter of Matthew in the New Testament. In this sermon, Jesus gave us His principles for the effective Christian life. Saddleback Church wrote the eight principles of Celebrate Recovery from them - helping to put them in a practical, easy-to-understand context.

I was fascinated by how my own story unfolded when I wrote it this way. Many of the things I wrote I'd said before. I'd just never said them together. When they were assembled together, they seemed to say something significant. Not something significant about me, but about God's work in me. You see, as I've participated in Celebrate Recovery over the years, and worked its principles, God has changed me. The irony is that He has changed me more than even I realized.

If you're not familiar with Celebrate Recovery, I encourage you to check it out. It is often considered a twelve-step program, and I've heard it called "AA with Jesus on it." Neither is a fair analogy. It is probably the most powerful, most effective discipleship tool I've ever seen. Jesus commanded us to "go and make disciples." Most of us don't have a clue what that looks like in practical application. I'm more convinced now than ever that Celebrate Recovery puts that into perfect practical application. It's not about recovery. It's about growing up in Christ.

Most of us have lives that we aren't satisfied with. And we wonder why. The fact of the matter is that Jesus can change all that. We just have to learn to work with His rhythm to accomplish it. And Celebrate Recovery teaches that. I'm still learning what Celebrate Recovery is all about. The enormous irony here is that I'm probably as knowledgeable as any about this particular ministry. But at the same time, I am overwhelmed by my own ignorance about this ministry. But God continues to unfold the story, revealing more to me each day.

I suspect my relationship with Celebrate Recovery is about to change again. But this time it looks like the roller coaster ride is over. Perhaps I will stop dating the ministry and put my perspectives in God's hands once and for all. Stay tuned, and I'll be sure to share with you as the story unfolds!