Strike Me Hard ... and Often, Lord

In just a few years it seemed that I poured my heart and soul into writing this blog.  And then it was over, almost as suddenly as it had started.  It seemed as if I woke up one day and there was nothing left to say.  Is that true?  Is there nothing left in me to say?  I very much doubt it.  So from time to time, I find myself examining my own journey with the Lord - seeking to understand it.

Today I had what I'd have to call a huge revelation.  It was followed by a most surprising prayer.  Let me explain.

Background
A few years ago I was faced with a very precarious employment situation.  Unexpectedly I found myself without a job.  But the Lord was faithful and He provided for my family even better than He had before.  However, His provision was temporary in nature.  And it came to an abrupt and unexpected ending over Christmas that year.

Suddenly I was thrust back into the ranks of unemployment.  This time it didn't even come with a severance package to help cushion the blow.  I dutifully surrendered my predicament to the Lord.  With (sometimes forced) resignation, I went about the plodding effort of looking for a job.  As always, the Lord provided.  He was faithful indeed.  This time His provision was a very tentative contract role though, for about a third less than I'd been making.  Still, it was enough. 

I was in a lowly, humbling role, and I knew it could end any day.  Honestly, I felt like the Israelites must have felt when they wandered for 40 years, picking up manna from the ground each morning to eat.  They hadn't known whether they would have food the next day or not.  They just had to trust God for that.  I was in exactly the same boat!  In fact, I felt as if the Lord had me on a very short leash - just to keep me humbled.

Being in a dilemma like the Israelites were helps do something.  It helps you maintain a laser-sharp focus on the Lord and His will for you.  Every day.  Every minute.  As I read and reflect on the story of the Israelites wandering in the desert, I see clearly that (at least) one of God's purposes for having them on such a short leash was that He wanted them to develop and keep a laser-sharp focus on Him.  Would our Lord want anything less from me?

So for months, I drove to work each day, praying in earnest that God would keep me safe.  I sincerely prayed and poured my heart out to Him each day, it seemed.  Often times as I drove into the parking lot tears were streaming down my face.  I'd park the car, dry my tears, and walk into the building literally praying as I walked.

Oddly enough, I never prayed for a better job.  I didn't pray for more money.  I prayed that the Lord would give me grace to honor Him in my circumstances.  I asked Him to show me how to honor those whom I worked for.  I asked Him to help me honor Him - with my words, my thoughts, and all of my actions throughout that day.  I prayed for those who would mistreat me (because they did).  I prayed for those around me, and I asked Him to use me to bless them (and He did).  Even in my painful circumstances, I guess I had enough wisdom to know that the reason(s) I was there might not be all about me.

As I look back, I remember it being a stressful time - almost terrifying in nature.  If not for my laser-sharp focus on the Lord, I would have no doubt been terrified.  But we made it through, and my testimony for the Lord was even stronger.  He has been so very faithful, and never failed me.  Out of the blue, I received a most unlikely job offer, making more money than before.  It seemed like a dream come true, and I rejoiced in the Lord.

Stricken By the Lord

To make a long story short, I walked out of those circumstances.  My God blessed me and my family with a wonderful job that most of us could only dream about.  It pays well and provides us with more financial security than we've ever had in our entire lives.  But it's been about eighteen (18) months now since I made that transition - from desperate need to bountiful provision.  I'm ashamed to say that my walk with the Lord has suffered during that time.  I've found it sometimes hard to seek Him first each day.  I've found myself bitter, angry, and unloving at times (at least in my head and heart).  At times I've asked the Lord to help me come back to Him. 

So today He did.  Today the Lord allowed me to be blasted by the enemy.  I was, as they say, thrown under the bus by someone I would have thought I could have trusted.  I was blamed, accused, and deeply wounded.  It was very unsettling.  My own brokenness was raging.  I prayed in the moment, of course, asking the Lord to give me the words to respond.  He did and I got through the meeting.  But if ever there were a picture of the "walking wounded" it was me after that meeting.

Later in the day, I had to go to the airport.  My first instinct was to head for the bar and load up on liquor to change the way I felt.  Instead, I found a carpeted hallway where terminal golf carts are parked for recharging.  I arranged my suitcase to give some privacy and lay down on the floor among them.  As I laid there and talked to God about what happened, the tears just started to pour out of my eyes.  My hair ended up being soaked by my own tears. 

But as I laid there on the floor of the airport, praying amidst my own tears, I had a moment of clarity.  I was suddenly laser-focused on the Lord ... like I hadn't been in months!  I talked to Him about that.  As He and I examined my heart we saw that I want nothing more than to please Him.  I don't want to be or have anything.  In fact, if it would please my Lord, I would be happy to cease to be all together.  Really!

As I prayed and reflected, it occurred to me that perhaps the Lord had stricken me (or allowed me to be stricken) in order to get me focused back on Him.  If He did, I would be eternally grateful.  And so I prayed.  "Lord, if You need to strike me and wound me to get me focused on you and keep me focused on you, then please strike me hard.  Wound me deeply.  And do it often.  For there is no greater joy in my life than to run to You - even if it's in my pain and fear."

I have to confess that this was a prayer that surprised even me.  But I am pleased to say that it is definitely a prayer that I mean.  "Lord strike me.  Wound me.  Do whatever it takes to help me keep the sharpest focus on you, Father.  In Jesus' name, I pray this. Amen."

Blessed Are the Meek

Jesus said, "the meek shall inherit the earth."  I have always puzzled over that phrase.  I mean, I get the inheritance thing.  I've never inherited anything (my parents died poor).  But I always thought it would be nice to inherit something.  I'm just not sure what it would mean for someone to inherit the earth.  How exactly does one do that?  What exactly does one get when one inherits the earth?  But I digress.  The bigger question revolves around this notion of meekness.

So, according to Jesus, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."  (Matthew 5:5)  Who exactly are these people?  I mean where did they come from?  How did they acquire their meeknesss?  If I look around the Bible, I see quite an emphasis on meekness.  I mean, Jesus wasn't the first to coin this term.  If I go back to the Old Testament, for example, there are at least a couple of passages about the meek. 

"Seek ye the Lord all ye meek of the earth ... seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the Lord's anger."  (Zephaniah 2:3) (KJV)  So the meek are to seek meekness?  Really?  How exactly do they do that?  Do they know they're supposed to do that?  And this particular passage of Scripture seems to reflect the privilege of the meek.  I mean it says they'll be hid from God's wrath when He judges the world.  So that would be good, of course.  I'd like to be hidden from the wrath of God when He judges the world for its sins.

The psalmist inferred an even deeper level of privilege for the meek.  Or maybe it was responsibility he was writing about.  "The meek will he guide in judgment; and the meek will he teach his way."  (Psalm 25:9) (KJV)  So God will guide those of us who are meek, and he will teach us his way.  We just have to join the meek.  So again I'm asking, "Who are these people?"  And maybe more importantly, the question is how I can join them.  How can I be counted among the meek, at least from the Lord's perspective?  Will He judge me as meek?

1 Peter 3:4 gives us an even broader perspective on the subject of meekness.  It says that meekness is an "ornament" and that it goes with a quiet spirit.  And it tells us God thinks these things are very valuable. 

The Bible talks about meekness as if we all know what it is, how it occurs and how we can pursue it and make it our own.  If you ask me, that's being a little presumptuous.  I mean, are humans that smart?

Another psalmist says that God "will beautify the meek with salvation."  (Psalm 149:4) (KJV)  But more modern translations seem to choose other words.  I mean they don't use the word meek.  Rather they use words like "humble" as if they are interchangeable with "meek."  But I'm not sure they are. 

The dictionary seems to have two different ways of thinking about "meek."  One definition seems positive.  It says the meek are "humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others."  It further says that the meek are "patient and long-suffering."  Those seem like pretty strong virtues to me.  I wouldn't mind being considered meek in that context.  But the dictionary also provides another context, which is much less appealing.  It says the meek are "overly submissive and compliant, spineless and tame."  I don't know about you, but I doubt that's the Biblical meaning of meek.

One thing that I've learned to do over the years is to look at Jesus.  I find that He's been the perfect role model for lots of things that I'm trying to figure out.  People put those bumper stickers on their car that say "WWJD?"  They're asking, "What Would Jesus Do?"  I don't think it's a good bumper sticker.  But I do think it's good advice for living.  We need to be looking to find out what Jesus would do.  If we'll stop and consider it, I find that Jesus models just about everything I need to know about successful living.

So in this context of humility or meekness, I look at Jesus and I don't see a spineless door mat.  In fact, I see a man who could get angry at injustice and ungodliness.  But I also see a man who was quick to forgive, slow to anger, and who experienced ... and expressed deep emotion.  When Jesus was falsely accused and tried, I see several behaviors that I find curious. 

Jesus did nothing to defend himself.  He wasn't defensive.  He made no statements on His own behalf.  He didn't try to justify His behavior.  He asked no questions of His accusers.  He answered their questions with as few words as possible.  And of course He didn't accuse others, but rather ask His Father to forgive them because they didn't know what they were doing (i.e., accusing Him unfairly).  Let's face it, those are odd behaviors.  But they are strong clues about this character trait of meekness.  I think they show us how to be meek.

That meekness is not weakness has been made very clear to us in the Bible.  Numbers 12:3, for example, describes Moses as a man who was "very meek."  But of course Moses was strong and courageous.  Moses was deeply humble and self-sacrificing, a man of prayer who absolutely trusted God beyond measure.  Jesus was no wimp either.  He defined meekness in terms of His own character.  "...learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:"  (Matthew 11:29) (KJV)

A meek spirit enables a Christ-follower to maintain composure in the face of opposition.  It helps us to accept adversity without resorting to our sense of entitlement.  It produces a peace that "transcends understanding" (Philippians 4:7) (NIV).  So it seems that this meekness which the Lord speaks of, it is the "secret sauce" for all true Christ-followers.  Frankly, I think it is a gift from God.  He instills it in each of us as we seek Him and His ways.  Said differently, the Lord will work in us, as we seek Him, to change our perspective about everything.  Troubling things won't be as troubling.  Challenges won't be as intimidating.  Adversity won't steal our peace.  And of course pride will not be welcome in the hearts of those who are meek.

So, as Jesus said, "the meek shall inherit the earth."  Now, who are these people?  They are you and me, my friend.  They are you and me.  May you find an extra measure of meekness in your soul today.  And may you grasp it like a precious gem, committing to never let go of even the tiniest morsel of meekness that you can find.  For therein lies our treasure ... and acquiring it makes us His treasure!

On Humility

Have you ever known someone that you thought of as truly humble? What was it about their character that made you draw such a conclusion? I remember years ago coming to a conclusion that I was not a very humble man. Seeing that God values humility, I decided to confess to God that I didn't have any. I prayed for humility. And let me tell you, that's not a prayer I recommend praying!

It seems that when I got on my knees and confessed to God that I lacked humility, a discussion ensued. It was mostly God leading me in a dialogue to assess my lack of humility. We had to visit things like pride, arrogance, selfishness, envy and several other unsavory aspects of my being. You see, God was in total agreement with my conclusion that I lacked humility. And it was definitely something He wanted me to have. But it wasn't a prayer He could just answer over night. Rather it was a journey that He had to lead me on.

I'm on that journey - to humility - today. And I'm not foolish enough to think that the journey is anywhere near complete either. The Bible promises that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6) So at some point, in the hopefully not-too-distant-future, I expect to be fully humble. Oh what a day that will be!

There's a joke I've heard that says as soon as you think you're humble ... then you're not. I laughed when I first heard it. But on closer examination I don't think that's right. It seems that our worldly definition of humility is not a very good thing. We describe something as humbling, and its in the context of feeling lowly, feeling stupid, feeling like a fool, a loser, etc. That doesn't sound like a virtue that God would call us to.

I've always been intrigued by the story in the Bible where Jesus strips to his underwear and washes the feet of His disciples. (John 13:1-17) If you think about it, Jesus knew He was God. He knew He was the Messiah, the Savior of the world. And yet, He stripped to His underwear and washed the feet of the disciples. What was He showing us here? When the disciple Peter protested, Jesus insisted. Why do you think it was so important that Jesus wash the feet of the disciples? Would eternity have turned out differently if Peter had prevailed and not let Jesus wash his feet?

Jesus taught about humility. (Luke 14:7-11). But that was a teaching. I think the foot washing ordeal was more about a showing. He was showing us humility. Of course, He loved the disciples and wanted to show His love for them by doing this loving gesture for them. Why didn't He keep His clothes on? I think if my pastor asked me to stand in my boxers at the front door of the church and wash the feet of the people coming in, I'd probably be looking for a new church! But seriously, I think we need to examine what Jesus did, compare it to what He taught, and learn some key lessons here.

I've tried to humble myself by comparing myself to other people. I've looked at good, righteous, virtuous people and considered how much of a schmuck I am compared to them. But I have to say that felt really bad. I wondered why. Surely I was doing it wrong. Then I noticed that the Bible says we are to humble ourselves before the Lord (James 4:10) and not before each other. I wondered if there was a difference. Jesus said humble people will put others first. He never said humble people will compare themselves to those other people.

It seems that the key to being humble is not to make yourself lesser than others around you - so much as it is to simply compare yourself to Christ. In fact, a truly humble person will only compare themselves to Christ ... and no one else. The humble person will realize and own their own sinfulness. They'll have an acute understanding of why it is that they need a Savior in Christ Jesus. And they'll know their own limitations, realizing that they could never save themselves. (Romans 7)

But just as Jesus knew His strengths, the truly humble person will also acknowledge their own gifts and strengths. They'll know how God has equipped them. And they'll be willing to use those gifts and strengths to serve as God directs them. So it seems that humility can then be defined as a realistic self-assessment coupled with a strong commitment to serve. And that is precisely what Jesus modeled for us when He stripped to His underwear and washed the disciples' feet!

Humility

Have you ever considered the virtue of humility? Not to be confused with humiliation (which is done to you), humility is what you do to yourself. Or maybe it is what you do for yourself. The Bible is replete with scenarios where God asks us to "humble ourselves" before Him, before others, etc.

Humility is said to be the foundation of spirituality ... and inferior only to faith. I think true humility probably consists of at least three things:

1. Submission to God and legitimate authority - parents, teachers, bosses, supervisors, church leaders, government (and its regulations).


2. Sincere recognition of the virtues and talents that others possess - without jealousy or resentment.


3. Recognition of your own limited talents, ability or authority - without being self-deprecating or engaging in self-pity or possessing low self-esteem.

So how do you know if you have this virtue of humility? How do you develop humility in yourself? If you pray for humility - how would God answer that prayer?

I try to be a humble person. But there's this thing about humility. It seems that when you think you have it ... then you don't.

So you can practice your submission to God. And you can obey the authorities in your life. You can really work to appreciate the strengths of others. And you can try to really carry an honest assessment of your own strengths and weaknesses. But even though humility seems to be comprised of those things --- practicing those things doesn't bring you humility.

No, it seems that it is much easier to do those positive things than it is to do them without jealousy, low self-esteem, or resentment. It is hard for me to appreciate your strengths and qualities ... without wanting them myself.

It has been said that pride opposes humility. But I think humility has an even greater opponent. Selfishness and self-centeredness work together to - in my mind - form the greatest opposition to accomplishing true humility in one's life.

And there you have it - humility struggling to break free of self. It is the desire of our Father. Can it really be my desire as well?