"You're Fired!"

Have you ever been fired from a job? I don't just mean laid off in a workforce reduction, but fired. You were singled out and you alone were let go from the employ of a company. It is one of those milestones in life that few of us would ever forget. Sadly, some of us have more than one of those milestones too.

And then there are lay-offs. You came to work, you did your job, but you were let go anyway. "Budget cuts" had to be implemented (despite the CEO's fat paycheck). Work was outsourced to China (or India). Two companies merged and found they had overlapping departments. All are common reasons why someone might lose their job.

There's something distinctly odd about the whole affair though. It doesn't matter whether you were fired for specific reason that was within your control or laid off for other reasons. The feelings you have is pretty much the same. The pride is wounded. The future is uncertain. There are unanswered questions. There are haunting questions like, "What if I had done this differently or that?" For most people, the end doesn't give you any peace with any of it. Life just goes on and you find some way to put the whole sordid affair behind you.

I've been fired myself. I think I've been fired four times in my whole life.

The first time I was just incompetent. They should have known that and just not even hired me. I was a car salesman and trying to put the squeeze on a customer in the showroom --- using the high-pressure sales tactics I'd been given. I failed and the customer ran from the showroom, screaming obscenities at me. They fired me for that. I guess I would have fired me too.

The second and third times I definitely deserved to be fired. I was a screw-up. I lied to people, played hooky from work. I was basically a mess --- probably even mentally ill at the time. The second and third time were back-to-back, within one summer. They say "the third time is the charm." This was true for me. It shocked me out of my nonsense. I'd been playing to my mental illness and brokenness. Getting fired twice in one summer is definitely a good wake up call. About a year or two later (I don't remember exactly), I wrote to the president of the last firm that fired me. I thanked him for firing me. I had learned some valuable lessons in that humiliating, frightening experience.

The fourth time I was fired from a job, it was probably the worst. I didn't deserve it. I was surprised to find anger, bitterness, resentment and even feelings of revenge came flying out of me at that one. I hadn't experienced any of these emotions in the past. It seemed unusual to have such feelings over being fired. But there they were ---- staring me in the face. Again, I had to learn. But this time, I was not a lesson of humility. It was not a lesson of "get-off-your-butt-and-do-the-right-thing." No, this time it was a lesson of forgiveness and grace. Wow! I totally didn't expect that.

Lest one think I'm just a schmuck who gets fired, it may be pertinent to know that I've also fired and laid off quite a number of people in my days. That is another experience entirely though. It has such different dynamics. I've been called into different companies to turn them around, clean up messes, manage high-octane growth, etc. Invariably getting things straightened out requires some re-alignment of staff. What that means of course is that there some people whom you need to get off the bus. There are people who need to take a different seat on the bus. And there are some new people that you need to get on board the bus. But getting the people off the bus is the most miserable of experiences.

I've decided that I quite like firing people versus laying them off. A budget cut, corporate merger, outsourcing to India or some other event produces the most victims. There is no question about that. They are usually good people who've done a good job. They don't deserve to lose their jobs. Nonetheless there they sit, staring at you with incredulous looks --- as you tear a gaping hole in their lives. Wives and children are affected. Communities may be affected. The ripple affect is everywhere. And I end up feeling so sorry for them. Sometimes I go cry when it's over.

So why do I like firing people more than laying them off? Can it really be any better? Well, the truth of the matter is that justice is not nearly as painful to measure out. People who get fired for cause usually deserve it, at least most of the time. When I've fired someone I've usually been in a position to stop it if they didn't deserve it. But they usually do. The reasons for someone being legitimately fired can vary. But there is most often some sore of wrongdoing involved. I don't feel so guilty when I fire these people. No, I feel more like their accountability partners --- holding them to account for their bad behavior.

There are so many dimensions to this notion of one losing one's job. I wish that lay offs could be abolished and that life would cease to be unfair and difficult. At the same time though, I wish that people who do wrong and deserve to be fired could be stopped --- before they do wrong. So the next time you're fired (or laid off), examine all the dynamics at play and the dimensions to that scenario. See what your part in the fiasco might be --- and what learning you can derive from the whole sordid experience.