On Being A Prophet

I’ve talked in the past about my belief ---- or conclusion that I am a prophet. This conclusion started with having taken a variety of spiritual gifts tests and analyses, which all indicate that prophecy is one of my strongest spiritual gifts. But it also comes from reading about the prophets in the Bible --- and seeing much of me in them. That happens to me a lot.

I have a friend who took spiritual gifts analysis recently and was horrified to find it suggesting that one of his strongest spiritual gifts was celibacy! He was definitely not happy about that. We had to talk about that for a while, to help him find some comfort in that fact. In the end, I think he agreed that it probably is a spiritual gift. Nonetheless, it’s probably not one he’s going to go around telling others he has.

I think prophecy works pretty much the same way. Those who have that gift may not be as distraught as those gifted with celibacy, for example. But you may find yourself wishing God had seen fit to give you a different spiritual gift than prophecy. It’s no picnic. Reading through the Bible, the one common denominator you’ll find amongst the prophets is that none of them were too thrilled about their calling. Many of them suffered greatly for speaking the truth that God placed in them. So why didn’t they just keep quiet?

I was reading in Jeremiah 20 today, and noticing one particular time in this prophet’s life. He was called “the weeping prophet.” If you see his life, you get to understand why. In this particular incident, the priest in charge of the temple didn’t like what Jeremiah had to say, so he had Jeremiah arrested, whipped and put in stocks outside the temple overnight. This was a clear case of being persecuted by God’s people.

Now I’ve never been arrested or whipped at my church, and certainly no one there ever put me in stocks! However, for years I served as a lay leader, an Elder and finally, a staff pastor. Often I would find myself speaking and it would feel like an outburst. Most often this would happen when the people in the room did not want to hear what I was saying. Looking back, those people --- who did not like to hear what I was saying --- would most often be other church leaders.

We would be in a situation and I would have a perspective on it that would invariably be unpopular. Or they would want to be talking about something more pleasant, and I’d be hammering on something I thought should be a priority issue. Their reaction would usually range from indifference to frustration and anger with me. Sometimes I would hear comments like, “Larry, the problem is that you always think you’re perspective is right.” I’ve been called names, told I was being divisive. A couple of people would consistently tell me that I was too intense, always hammering, saw things as only black & white, etc. While some of them truly loved me, they would make up terms to describe what they experienced with me. I was called "the velvet brick," the "minister of confrontation" and other terms of endearment. While I knew in my head that they loved me, it mostly still felt like I was being persecuted by God's own people (the Christians).

So what was really going on here? I wasn’t arrested, whipped and locked up. But I felt persecuted. What was happening? I think I am (finally) gaining some insight into that. First of all, prophets aren't perfect. We're still sinners in desperate need of a Savior. There have been times in my life when I would definitely have argued that I was the worst sinner in the world. So I know my sin clouds the picture. But perhaps the newer learning is about the truth of prophecy and what typically goes along with that gift.

I used to share with my pastor that often my goal going into such situations would be to just keep my mouth shut. I would go to a meeting with church leaders and pray that God would just help me keep quiet. I loved these people and didn’t want to offend anyone. Yet often words come flying out of my mouth that would seem to offend. So I reasoned that a good solution would just be to keep quiet and not say anything. (And usually that wouldn't work very well!)

In Jeremiah 20 this morning, I re-read something that apparently I’ve missed in the past. Jeremiah speaks of the exact same phenomenon! He would speak what God had put in him and people would be offended. So he would try to just be quiet and not say anything. But the Scripture says that whenever he withheld God’s word for a while it became fire in his bones until he could not hold it back any longer. In Jeremiah’s own terms, “the words come out in a violent outburst.” I could certainly identify with that!

He said, “(These) messages from the Lord have made me a household joke." I could identify with that too. Jeremiah went on to describe his experience like this, “(But) if I say I’ll never …. speak in His name, His word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! (And) I am weary of holding it in.” Oh boy, do I ever identify with that statement!

Now in Jeremiah 20, he goes on to complain to God quite a bit about his lot in life. In fact, Jeremiah cursed the day he was born. He said, “Why was I ever born? My entire life has been filled with trouble, sorrow and shame.” Now I can certainly relate to that. I’ve had my share of the trouble and sorrow. Moreover, I’ve felt the shame. But the truth is, I always know that I am not always right and don’t believe that I am (despite what others may accuse me of).

But often I am right. And it’s not because I think I have more knowledge than others or am smarter or cleverer than anyone else. It’s because I have this gift of prophecy. My conclusion is that God apparently shows me more things and speaks to me about more things than He does to others. I am always right. It’s a supernatural knowing that the wisdom God has given you is flawless. It makes you confident and enables you to be bold. And, like Jeremiah, if I try to hold it in, it builds up and explodes in violent outbursts.

So this gift of prophecy is quite a handful. It isn’t a gift I would wish on anyone. Jesus said on more than one occasion that, “A prophet is never accepted in his home town.” I think that includes not being accepted in his home church, his family of origin, etc. It must be difficult to be friends with a prophet --- because they’re always saying things you don’t want to hear. I see that Jeremiah had few friends. I often have few friends too. I suppose the closer one would get to me (or any other prophet) the more disturbing our words would be.

So my prayer today is simply this: “Lord, You are an overwhelming power in my life. When I try to control how I respond to what You’re doing in me it only makes the impact worse. And I end up being more of an outcast. Help me to be more obedient to You and in a timelier manner ---- never trying to contain or suppress the insights that You give me to share. But give me words that others can hear and find useful. My heart is mellow and it is truly not my desire to offend, manipulate or control anyone. It is my desire to love them. Help me to love You and love others more effectively in my God-given role and with my God-given gifts. I ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”